Pretending to understand. This week we were asked to ponder the question, “What am I pretending Not to understand“. What a fabulous exercise! It was hard to sense the layers of deception that lay dormant and yet huge obstructions to reaching my ideals. As in the lyrics of Eric Clapton’s song “Pretending” he says, “I get lost in alibis, Sadness can’t prevail, Everybody knows, Strong love can’t fail”. In the end truth and love always prevail.
Why is it that we often take the option of pretending not to know… I noticed quickly a twinge of guilt when Mark shared on last weeks call that we might be pretending that we don’t know that there are dishes in the sink, which someone will need to wash. An opportunity for a random act of kindness not taken because I pretended not to know. It is that we have things our heart tells us are there so we can fulfill our ideal life and we abdicate or ignore the call.
The question is, if we become master observers, how can we progress to the point where we answer every call to service without loosing ourselves. I have no answer (or am I simple pretending not to know?). This exercise for me will continue and become one of the well-worn cards in my deck of daily contemplative material.
It requires being present, not presuming that old blueprints will somehow resolve themselves. Since starting this program, often I have presume much of the master observer activities to be external, yet this question is purely internal and introspective. It is like the gyroscope to my guided missile; always coarse-correcting. Now if only, like the missile I can remove ego and simple follow the intuition signal as received, as Mark says, the effort required to reach my target will be dramatically reduced and energy, harmony and alignment will permeate my entire being. What a beautiful thought to hold in my mind with interest and attention gathering more of the same as Haanel taught us this week in 18:32.